The premise is interesting, but I think it gets ruined by the story trying to be PG and somewhat positive. Of course, I would not expect it to be as dark as the only proper Berserk is, but still.
I mean, even just the fact that Fate was a guard or something and never have killed a monster is not believable: he should have been sent out to hunt weaker monster as part of his training, this is something that makes total sense in fantasy worlds like this. The hunger itself would probably be more debilitating, too, at least after Gluttony was awakened, but it does not seem to do much besides making Fate's stomach growl, and even that is quite inconsistent. Also finding a sword, that is supposed to be this powerful in, essentially, trash feels weird, especially considering that it can talk.
Overall, not a bad attempt, but too limited by lack of edginess.